I am becoming water…
I let everything rinse its grief in me
and reflect as much light as I can.
– Mark Nepo –

Mindfulness practitioners will often explore a variety of meditation practices as they endeavor to deepen the cultivation of present-moment awareness. When it comes to developing positive attitudinal qualities, loving-kindness meditation is one of the more popular practices engaged in to nurture the opening of the heart.

What is Loving-Kindness?

As a formal meditation practice, loving-kindness consists of silently directing phrases of goodwill toward ourselves and four types of persons…

• Loved One: this could be a partner, child, family member, friend, or pet
• Respected Benefactor: someone who has been helpful to us in our lives
• Familiar Stranger: someone we don’t know or have neutral feelings towards
• Difficult Person: a person we experience as problematic

The intention of loving-kindness meditation is to progressively expand and nurture the quality of unconditional acceptance and friendliness that already exists within us while holding space for whatever is present in the body, heart, and mind as we practice.

But loving-kindness is so much more than a meditation practice. It is central to the cultivation of the quality of “heartfulness” which often tempers our orientation to the present moment, both on the meditation cushion and off. It also lays the groundwork for the expansion of other heart-centered qualities such as compassion, joy, and equanimity. 

The Current of Loving-Kindness

Much like water is a dynamic force within the natural environment, the current of loving-kindness meditation can fundamentally alter the internal landscape of the practitioner.

Just as water travels the path of least resistance, loving-kindness encourages mindfulness practitioners to meet with openness all the varied conditions of the many moments of their life. This motivation to accept things as they are heartens the practitioner to stand in relationship to their experiences without withdrawing from them–offering an ongoing invitation to not abandon themselves, the moment, or others.

It is a somewhat remarkable quality of water that by neither resisting nor forcing, it is still able to transform an environment through its gentle power and persistence.  In a similar way, loving-kindness reshapes a practitioner’s internal landscape by gradually disintegrating the obstacles they’ve created over the course of a lifetime that may have separated them from aspects of themselves, and others. 

Just as water cleanses what it comes into contact with, loving-kindness helps practitioners to transform habitual loops of reactivity that block clear seeing. In this way, the practice alleviates the internal tensions of aversion and hostility so their energies can be purified and released by their own affectionate attention, rather than staying unresolved and stagnating within the body, heart, and mind. 

Drinking from the Well

Just as water awakens the inherent potential within a  seed, the practice of loving-kindness meditation awakens the inherent goodness that already resides within each mindfulness practitioner.

The healing waters of loving-kindness develop a practitioner’s capacity to be in the present moment with greater openness and acceptance. Making ripples throughout the landscape of the body, heart, and mind, loving-kindness encourages practitioners to stand near all things with kindness and care. By reminding practitioners of the common threads that unite them with everyone else, it gently dismantles internal obstacles that create a sense of separation from their fellow human beings. It is the medicine of love that ultimately purifies the woundedness of conditioning so the human heart can return to a healthy and balanced state.

The practice of loving-kindness meditation is a limitless reservoir of transformative power, capable of fostering connection, healing wounds, and creating a more loving, compassionate world for us all.

Want to explore a loving-kindness meditation? Take a listen to this introductory loving-kindness meditation practice.

If you’d like to learn more about the practices and principles of mindfulness, check out our upcoming Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) courses for opportunities to learn and grow.

Already have an existing practice? Consider joining us for ongoing practice opportunities.

The post The Healing Waters of Loving-Kindness appeared first on Mindfulness in the Heartland.

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.

– Maya Angelou –

Practicing mindfulness opens us up to a whole new way of being in the world. Not only are we learning to be more present and accepting of what is happening in our external lives, we are also building greater awareness and openness to the workings of our internal world. 

As we disentangle from life on perpetual autopilot and dive deeper into our moment-to-moment lived experience, many of us quickly recognize that our internal world frequently does not feel like a very hospitable place. The euphoria of “homecoming” that we may initially experience is often sidelined as we traverse a largely unexplored inner landscape.

We begin to hear with greater clarity the internal voice that subjugates us with a steady stream of harsh and demoralizing criticism. Through a deeper connection to our bodies, we become more aware of the emotional and visceral wake of our lives. We have a greater understanding of the pull of craving, the push of aversion, and the fog of delusion.

It’s All in the Attitude

Thankfully, within this process of coming home to ourselves, we are also learning to attend to this inner landscape with an attitude of kindness and curiosity toward all of the passing phenomena. We begin to see that these internal disruptions are often just the result of established mental habits—ways of thinking and relating that have been woven into us through life experience. We notice that their comings and goings, although persistent, are also temporary.

An integral part of our practice then becomes about creating an inner dwelling that feels safe and welcoming to all the varieties of life—a place where we can truly inhabit all of our experiences. It is much like the tangible and intangible effort of creating a loving home. We start to slowly build an internal refuge for ourselves—sacred space where we can welcome it all, the parts we like and the parts we struggle to accept.

And as we stay committed to our mindfulness practice, we often find it becomes easier and easier to make our way home. We deeply understand that we have a place of safety right within ourselves that can provide warmth, comfort and shelter from the storms of life. 

Making Room for Others

This effort we make to create a refuge is not just a self-centered pursuit, either. As we embrace and accept all the many nuances of ourselves and our lives, we have a greater capacity to embrace and accept them in others, as well. We begin to recognize that just as we seek safety, peace, happiness and well-being, so too, do our brothers and sisters. We also intrinsically know that the moments of discomfort we abide with are not just ours alone. They are the shared experience of being human. 

A house does not become a home until someone decides to take up residence and make it a welcoming place. Mindfulness is an invitation to do just that—to fully inhabit and welcome all of ourselves home. With commitment, friendliness and self-compassion, we can create a safe and nourishing inner-sanctuary for all the varied moments of our lives. It is our warmth and loving care that is perhaps the most meaningful gift we can ever give ourselves.

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The eye—it cannot choose but see;
we cannot bid the ear be still;
our bodies feel, where’er they be,
against or with our will. 

 — William Wordsworth, Lyrical Ballads

Often, as people begin to explore mindfulness, questions arise around the concept of “being.” What is it exactly? And how do we know when we’ve arrived?

Human Doing vs. Human Being

For many of us, when we are going through the motions of daily life, we are striving to get to some future goal or point in time. As a result, we are often living outside of the present moment, as our attention is directed toward getting somewhere else. What’s happening at the moment is taking a back seat to a future that has become the place “to be.”

“Being,” on the other hand, is a state of awareness that arises as a result of being mindful. It is not about getting anywhere in particular. Rather, it is about arriving right where we are in the fullness of the present moment. It is embodying our aliveness as it unfolds.

When people initially learn mindfulness-based practices, they often regard them as yet another task on a laundry list of things “to do.” But, in actuality, mindfulness practices are an invitation to explore moving out of the temporal space of “doing” and into the stillness of “non-doing.” It is the “non-doing” of these practices that serve as a gateway to the experience of “being.”

Take It All In

On the surface, “being” runs the gamut of human experience, because we are not pushing away anything that occurs in the present moment. We are aware of our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations while cultivating an attitude of acceptance and openness. Much like the surface of the ocean, things shift and change with the tides of our internal experience. At times, the surface may be calm and at others tumultuous, or somewhere in-between.

Underneath these shifting tides, however, there is a tranquil spaciousness that exists in the moment-to-moment, permeating whatever may arise in our field of awareness. It is the peace inherent to this vastness that begins to gently unwind our attachments to agendas and judgments. We begin to see where we resist life and generate falsehoods about the nature of things.

The more we hang out in the space of “being,” the more profound the experience can become. We may start to sense the constant emergence of the present moment—to catch glimmers of the impermanence of everything. We may begin to deeply feel our connection to all of life.

Stepping into “being” is a lot like giving ourselves room to breathe. It arises as a result of inhabiting and savoring every moment of living, even the moments we would be compelled to avoid. Because the truth is, there is nowhere else “to be.” We have arrived complete, just as we are, right here in this moment.

The post Life is Found in Being, Not Becoming appeared first on Mindfulness in the Heartland.

In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind, there are few. 

– Shunryu Suzuki –

One essential truth is that no moment is ever exactly the same as another. Life is a dynamic, ever-changing unfolding of everything that exists. To that end, every moment we experience is rich with unique possibilities.

Often, we place on top of the present moment past experience that informs our perceptions. We see the moment in relationship to the interpretations of the mind and our beliefs rather than seeing what is in front of us as a singularity of experience. These perceptions muddy the distinctiveness of the moment and tend to draw us into limited views about what’s happening.

Cultivating beginner’s mind is a practice we can employ to see the depth of our moment-to-moment experience. The idea of beginner’s mind is to approach the moment as the unique experience it is—to see and do things as if for the first time. It is an intentional stepping away from the preconceptions we’ve formed about the nature of things.

I have observed that children embody beginner’s mind quite naturally. They do not have a lifetime of experiences to inform their experience, so they tend not to lay anything on top of what is occurring. They take each moment as it comes. As a result, they tend to approach each experience with a great deal of wonderment and curiosity. They see possibilities in moments where many of us would only find limitation because of our restricted perspective.

Our habituated ways of seeing and doing separate us from the depth of the present moment, imparting an illusion of a static world. Beginner’s mind opens us up to the uniqueness of the moment, revealing the dynamic nature of everything we experience. It is a powerful practice that can be used to override the assumptions we all walk around with—reinstating the curiosity and wonderment inherent to the experience of being alive.

If you’d like to learn more about the practices and principles of mindfulness, check out our classes and workshops for opportunities to learn and grow.

Already have an existing practice? Consider joining us for ongoing practice opportunities.

The post Beginner’s Mind: Seeing the Moment with Fresh Eyes appeared first on Mindfulness in the Heartland.

All of us have the capacity to be mindful. All it involves is cultivating our ability to pay attention in the present moment.

‒ Jon Kabat-Zinn –

A friend of mine, who is a busy educator, artist, and mother of a young child recently expressed her desire to bring more mindfulness into her everyday experience, but found that she struggled with finding time for a formal meditation practice.

As a mother of two young children, I understand the difficulty of finding time to formally meditate. Some days, I can squeeze in thirty minutes of meditation, sometimes it might only be five minutes, and some days chaos requires that I rely on other methods to keep myself in a place of mindfulness.

Paths to the Present Moment

Traditionally, there are two forms of mindfulness practices, formal and informal. Formal practices include such things as sitting and walking meditation. These practices, as their name implies, involve a level of structure and formality in their completion. Informal practices, however, can be incorporated into any routine, daily activity.

As outlined by the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn, the thread that is woven into both formal and informal mindfulness practices are the qualities of intention, attention and attitude. In his own words, mindfulness is about “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”¹

Whether we are doing formal or informal mindfulness practices, we are intentionally focused on the task at hand. Our attention is directed towards awareness of our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, on a moment-by-moment basis. An attitude of non-judgment greets whatever arises and falls away from our field of experience. We are simply being with what is.

Mindfulness in Daily Life

For the sake of further elaboration on what an informal practice might look like, let’s take an everyday activity, such as showering, and see how it might be done mindfully:

First, we must intentionally bring our focus to rest on the task at hand. This means turning off our internal auto-pilot, slowing down, and attending to each aspect of the process as it unfolds. Awareness is placed on our sense perceptions, such as the sensation of water on the skin, the texture of the foam from the soap, the sense of touch as we wash our body, the smells that we come in contact with, the sounds that we hear, what we see in relationship to what we are doing. We also notice feelings and thoughts that may arise as we complete the task, allowing them to be part of the experience without getting distracted by them.

In other words, we are physically, mentally, and emotionally engrossed in what we are doing, moment-by-moment. If we come to find that we have followed a thought or feeling and wandered away from the present moment, we make note of the mental drift, and come back to the activity at hand.

Just as is true with formal practices, the simplicity of this activity may not speak to its ease. You may find yourself surprised to see how often you move out of the present moment and into a stream of thought or feeling. No matter, just bring yourself back to the task, gently and without judgement, again and again. This is the practice.

Practice Makes…Practice

Commitment to mindfulness practices is ultimately a commitment to ourselves. Like anything in life, we get out of it what we put into it. Keeping formal practices at the forefront of our lives is important. As we stick with them, we come to find that mindfulness begins to naturally spill into our daily experience. However, when we are in a pinch and short on time, informal practices can be just as meaningful and rewarding.

¹ Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are. New York: Hyperion.

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Whatever the times, suffering eventually touches every life. How we live with it, and help others to, is one of the great creative and ethical opportunities.

– Dr. Elaine N. Aron –

Several years ago, when my daughter was still in pre-K, our family’s morning routine had become a teary and stressed-filled extravaganza. Every morning, we’d send my daughter off to her room to get ready for school and within minutes she’d be sobbing as she struggled to find something to wear.

Initially, my interpretation of these episodes was the default conclusion that she was just resistant to going to school. I would respond by cajoling her into getting dressed and when that didn’t work, I’d turn up the heat and become the demanding parent that I hated to be.

I often found myself torn between wanting to give her space to take care of herself and feeling completely frustrated with her because of the havoc this slowdown created for our morning. We were chronically late because of the amount of time it took her to get ready and typically everyone was stressed before we even left the house, which is a horrible way for anyone to start their day.

However, I realized something much more deep-seated was at play when one morning I found her curled up in her closet absolutely unwilling to come out to get dressed. Honestly, I didn’t know how to support her. I was completely frustrated and at a loss as to how to address what I was seeing. I just knew something was wrong and we needed to do something different.

With a little bit of research, I discovered Dr. Elaine Aron’s work with Highly Sensitve Children (HSC), and quickly came to the realization that our daughter was likely dealing with some sensory sensitivity, the result of a highly active nervous system, which is a trait that expresses itself in roughly 15% to 20% of the population.

This awareness explained not only her sensitivity to clothes but also her pickiness with food, her propensity to stand back and observe in new situations, and her emotional intensity. From what I read, I also understood that our response as parents to her sensitivity would be key in helping her manage it.

As a result, my husband and I endeavored to work with her sensitivity in a way that honored her experience rather than trying to tamp it down. We took the time to get her clothing that felt right on her body. We paid more attention to her food preferences, while still encouraging exploration of new foods. We taught her mindfulness practices to help her learn to self-regulate. Perhaps most importantly, we let her know she was not alone in her struggle and her sensitivity provided her with some benefits that would serve her in life.

The upside for children who are HSC is that they are often very intelligent, creative and emotionally intuitive. They can express incredible compassion from an early age and are highly perceptive to the nuances of situations that many of us miss. And because it expresses itself in up to 20% of the population, this would suggest that being highly sensitive has some survival value for our species.

All of this learning and orienting towards our daughter’s experience came full circle about a year later. One morning when we were busy getting ready to leave the house, our daughter was putting the finishing touches on her morning prep for school—the ever-challenging putting on of socks and shoes. We were running late (as is often the case) and although my husband and I were not verbally rushing her, we were hovering with a sense of urgency that she wrap up the task.

My daughter, without batting an eye, just looked up at us and said, “I have a sensitivity to clothing and it takes me a bit longer to get ready.” It was so matter-of-fact—no shame, no wanting of things to be different—just a gentle reminder to us in that moment of what she was working with and perhaps, additionally, that it would be helpful if we worked with her.

I well-up recalling that moment, because I can remember how beaten down and debilitated she had felt just a year prior. To see her embrace who she is with such ease and acceptance just brings home to me how important our responses as parents are to the challenges our children face. How we meet our children, whether with acceptance and compassion or judgement and control, will impact how they feel about themselves and respond to the challenges they will inevitably face throughout life.

I likely would not have been able to give her that space had I not been cultivating mindfulness within my own life. Having a mindfulness practice gave me the presence I needed to slow down and become curious about what was happening for my daughter and why. It provided me with the patience, acceptance and compassion she needed as she learned to accept and work with her sensitivity. As a result, our whole family grew and learned from the experience.

This episode in my parenting journey was another reminder that being a kid can be just as challenging as being an adult—we fool ourselves when we think that it isn’t. Mindful parenting helps us to resist the urge to be reactive when our children aren’t behaving in the manner we’d like and to bring some curiosity and care to the situation at hand. Sometimes what we uncover in paying attention is that there are things we need to learn to support our children more effectively. Additionally, when we can approach whatever is happening for them with kindness and acceptance, we foster kindness and acceptance within themselves. It is a win for everyone!

The post There Is No “Sin” in Sensitivity: Mindful Parenting in Action appeared first on Mindfulness in the Heartland.

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. 

– Robert Louis Stevenson –

The clean slate that rings in with a new year is often the time when many of us are inspired to reach toward new goals of self-improvement. We mark the passage of one year to the next by looking back on our bumps and bruises, endeavoring to identify how we might make our journey a little smoother. We strategize and plan, make commitments, break commitments and in general, step outside of our well-established comfort zones.

However, it is an unfortunate truth, in just a few days, weeks or months, many of us will be right back where we started—engaging once again in old behaviors—having forgotten the enthusiasm we once felt to do things in a new way.

As we all instinctively know, significant change does not occur with the flip of a switch. It is not a one-off decision we make and then all is well. New outcomes emerge, and are sustained, through successive decision-making, day-in and day-out. Substantive change requires maintaining awareness (mindfulness) in the moments when we would normally check-out and slip into unconscious, conditioned behavior. It requires dusting ourselves off and getting back on the horse, time and time again.

Real change is challenging and establishes itself over a period of time—through lots of stops and starts.

Now, I do not mean to suggest that making a commitment to reach new goals is a waste. It’s important to reflect, learn from the hindsight of 20/20 and try new ways of relating to our lives. But if we find ourselves continually looking to the future as if it will house the happiness we seek, perhaps we need to take a closer look at the intentions motivating our drive for change.

The Difference Between Goals and Intentions

Goals are oriented toward future outcomes and shaped by planning and action. They are inherently outer directed, meaning we measure the success of our goals through their materialization in our outer lives.

The challenge with anchoring our fulfillment to goals is that they do not exist in the present moment. Goals create expectations about a future that, if not achieved, can become a source of disappointment and suffering. They pull us out of the present moment, and perhaps, ever so subtly suggest that who and where we are right now is not good enough.

Intentions, on the other hand, live in the present moment. They are shaped by a personal value system and as such, are inner-directed, meaning they arise from within the internal landscape. They are the fuel behind our actions, whether we are conscious of it or not.

All Intentions Are Not Created Equal

By their nature, intentions can be healthy or detrimental. Healthy intentions, which I like to refer to as heart-based intentions, promote well-being. They are grounded in the qualities of faith, mindfulness, love, generosity, wisdom and compassion. Heart-based intentions nourish our lives and the lives of everyone around us.

Unhealthy intentions, on the other hand, are based in negative qualities such as greed, fear, delusion and doubt. These intentions are self-focused, self-seeking and perpetuate a sense of separation from others.

Fuel for the Fire

Since intentions serve as the substrate for our actions, taking time to understand our intentions is an important piece in developing and sustaining goals. What are the motivations driving us toward a goal? Are they anchored in values that are healthy for ourselves and others? 

Because intentions arise in the present moment, we can check-in with our motivation at any time while working toward a personal goal. When we recognize our behavior has slipped away from our intentions, we can learn what there is to learn from our digression (without judgment towards ourselves) and get back to actions that align with our intentions.

You’ve Got to Feel It to Heal It

If we are having a hard time distinguishing the source of our motivation, insight can be gained by physically monitoring how our choices feel in the body.

The act of generosity provides a great example of how the same action can feel quite different based on the intention behind it. Consider for a moment how it feels to sincerely give to another person without any expectation of receiving something in return. Conversely, consider how it feels to give to someone when there is an expectation of reciprocation. Very different sensations, right? These bodily sensations provide useful information about the quality of our intentions.

Sometimes this type of inquiry will inform us our intentions are a mix of both wholesome and unwholesome qualities. When we recognize there is an internal conflict, we can consciously choose to refrain from actions that arise from detrimental qualities and align our actions with the intention of promoting well-being.

Return to What Matters Most

Intentions are the nutriment for every action we take. They are a moment-to-moment gauge of how close we are living to our values, and through consistent action, what we are weaving into the fabric of our lives. Anchoring into our intentions can help us stay committed to skillful action when challenging moments arise—which they inevitably will. And even in the moments when we notice our behavior has digressed from how we want to operate in the world, every recognition and realignment towards intentional action builds the muscle of living more fully aligned with our personal value system.

When we sow seeds of heart-based intentions, reaching goals begins to take a back seat to how we feel inside about what we are doing and why. Anchored in heart-based intentions, we are more likely to take life as it comes from moment-to-moment because we are focused on building a strong foundation of authentic behavior that nurtures our life. From this place, we are more inclined to experience a sense of fulfillment regardless of what our external circumstances may look like at the moment.

If you’d like to learn more about the practices and principles of mindfulness, check out our classes and workshops for opportunities to learn and grow.

Already have an existing practice? Consider joining us for ongoing practice opportunities.

The post How Intentions Inform Your Goals appeared first on Mindfulness in the Heartland.

Lead us toward a speech, which is as beautiful as silence, and toward a silence, which is as beautiful as the sweetest and truest of words.

 – Jean-Yves Leloup –

Communication is the primary vehicle by which we attempt to share our beliefs, perceptions, inner experiences and get our needs met. When communication is nurtured and supported, it is an opportunity to gaze into another’s world and allow them to see into ours. And if the ‘back and forth’ of communication is healthy, it can become a flow of understanding and interpersonal connection.

We may be surprised to find when we begin to cultivate awareness within this sphere of our lives that we have routine ways of communicating which curtail our own self-expression or the self-expression of others. Mindful communication helps to bring awareness and choice into the process of dialogue so we can begin to break away from old habits that thwart understanding. This frees us to cultivate a style of relating that acknowledges our experience while allowing space for others to express themselves.

Heartful Navigation

An important foundation of any mindfulness practice is staying aligned with the intentions we bring to the mix of whatever it is we’re doing. When considering our communication with others, we are clear about and cognizant of our intentions. We align our intentions with the heart-based qualities of care, curiosity and building understanding. These qualities become the source of navigation for our behavior and are a compass for our moment-to-moment choices. This clarity can help us get back on track if we stray from our intentions or stay committed to skillful action when moments of challenging communication arise.

The Steps of Mindful Communication*

There are three movements in the dance of mindful communication:

*Embodiment (tuning into direct experience)

*Listening

*Speaking

We are consciously toggling between these three movements when we are bringing present moment awareness into the exchange of communication.

Embodiment: Staying Grounded

Whether it’s a dance or communication partnership, it’s important to maintain a sense of balance throughout each movement of our interaction. Our embodiment—in this case being aware of moment-to-moment felt sensations in the body, thoughts and emotions that arise—anchors us to the present moment and provides a point of orientation as we are in dialogue. It is here that we can best identify our personal experience and monitor how we are internally responding in the process of communication.

Are we able to notice when we are open and receptive or when we’ve closed ourselves off to another? Can we be aware of thoughts and emotions without being carried away by their content?

Being Led: Listening

When we begin to directly attend to our exchanges with other people, it doesn’t take long to notice that most of the time we aren’t really listening to what the person is actually saying.  Oftentimes, the mind is busy coming up with it’s retort to what is being said and we are just holding our tongue until we can find an opportune moment to slip our perspective into the conversation.

Mindful communication invites us to buck this trend and instead deeply attend to listening to the other person. We are not listening to respond, but rather listening to hear and understand. We are curious and interested in what the other person has to say. If we are inclined to speak, it is to ask questions and inquire further about the nuances of what is being shared.

Are we able to notice the moments when personal thoughts and judgements arise? Can we notice when we’ve slipped away from listening and return to being present to what is being shared?

Taking the Lead: Mindful Speaking

When it is our turn to share, we bring attention to, and take responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings, behavior and speech. If our intention in speaking is to cultivate a warm and honest exchange, there are five check-points we can screen our inclination to speak through before sharing with another:

*Is what we want to share true (for us)?

*Is it kind?

*Will it be beneficial to the conversation?

*Is it necessary to share for the sake of building understanding?

*Is the timing right to say it?

These pass-throughs can be helpful, especially when we are feeling uncertain about whether what we are first inclined to say is in keeping with our intentions for the conversation.

Communication affords us a unique opportunity to practice mindfulness in an informal, yet powerful way. Building our capacity to attend to what we are internally experiencing in moments of communication can help us stay anchored to the present moment and aware of the quality of flow within the conversation. When we are able to intentionally direct our attention to the many nuances of listening and speaking, we open ourselves to seeing into another’s world and allowing someone to see into ours. 

* This post was inspired by the book Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication by Oren Jay Sofer.

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This morning, I welcomed the day along with the birds…long before the sun showed an interest in this side of the world.

Not wanting to rustle the stillness from our otherwise sleepy house, I decided to do my meditation before anything potentially disruptive occurred.

The post Call and Response appeared first on Mindfulness in the Heartland.

 Wisely and slowly; they stumble that run fast.

– Hugh Howey –

Like most people, I struggle with balancing all there is to get done. Having two small children means that some days I have to prioritize my priorities. Which is another way of saying some goals have to take a back burner to others, at times.

Life happens. And when you’re living a dynamic life—life happens a lot. Sometimes, time-management challenges present themselves as opportunities to sit with how we are treating ourselves. We are human beings after all, not “human doings.”

Personally, I do not want my life to amount to a bunch of tasks on a list. If I fall short of my own expectations, the question always comes back around to whether I’m simply inquiring to understand why I am where I am, or if, in fact, I’m reacting from a place of judgment towards myself.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with shifting and adjusting the manner in which we are working towards getting things done. This is especially true if we find that we’re feeling drained or out of alignment in some respect.

On the flip side, if I’m berating myself or feeling anxious because I didn’t reach a goal, then I’m not really being thoughtful about the process or myself—I’m just fixated on getting something done. This is not the spirit I want to be motivated to action by.

I’ve come to recognize that a kinder and gentler approach to managing my goals nurtures my spirit, and by default, the lives of those around me. This may mean I don’t keep up with the pack in the manner that I use to. But in many respects, I don’t want to. At the end of the day I have to remind myself, the tortoise won the race, not the hare.

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